It has been a well kept secret these last two months, but no more. The Global Defenders are in space. Yes, over the past few months our own PEAR, our Central Intelligence Agency, has undergone serious research and development, its agents dedicating themselves to their work like never before. Though the agency is extremely classified, PEAR has made public that several advances have been made, including the first Club Penguin satellite, the LOLWUT 1, on December 30. Or the IGLOO 2 unmanned moon lander, which touched Club Penguin’s moon on January 13. PEAR also announced its current operation: to send the first troop in CP History to the Moon. The question, of course, is who will get this honor. Who is first?
At the Assembly on Friday, the lunar mission was announced and nominees were asked for. Three people have been nominated as the first penguin to go to the Moon. All three will embark on the journey, but only one will be first. We have decided that the Army should decide this for them.
Why do the Global Defenders go to the Moon? Why waste the time on research and construction? Simply because this Army must be great. We must prove our prestige. We are the only true democracy. We are protectors of the globe. Who better to be in space as Club Penguin’s guardian? But first we must go to the moon, we must prove to all others we are strong. We will be mocked for such a worthless effort by jealous nations, we will be followed by nervous empires, or we will be praised by kinder armies.
Filed under: Global Defenders