Today was my last day of high school. This is a pretty emotional day, with such an abrupt end to, well, 13 years of routine and friendships. And realizing all of this, I’ve been here far too long. I shouldn’t be on here at all, to be honest, I should have remained retired. I’m far too old and I have an adult life to worry about now. As an adult person, it would be inappropriate to remain with you any longer. I graduate Thursday. This weekend I will try to come on to say some personal goodbyes. But after this, I’m afraid I’m leaving the CPA community for good now. Maybe in 4 more years I’ll check back up on you guys, but I doubt it. it’s just the sad truth of it all.

So thanks for welcoming me back into GD while I was here! It’s been awesome, I’m glad I could be a part of the greatest era of Global Defender history ever. I have faith in all of you guys, keep up the good work and have fun. Knowing that I won’t be returning, I leave you with some advice.

• Make friends. Don’t worry about people here you don’t like. As far as you know they literally don’t exist. They’re an internet away. Just be friendly and enjoy everyone here! And this applies in real life too. Go outside and make some friends! Don’t ever let CPA’s hold you from enjoying actual friendships. And if you have enemies out in the real world, don’t let them confine you to CP.
• Don’t get stressed about CPA’s. The less you stress about this the better you are. When I first retired, I completely forgot about GD for a good few months. These are so unimportant in your life, trust me, it’s not worth worrying. You’ll have some memories of playing, and memories of a few people, but all in all you won’t even remember how much you stressed about reviving a dead army or rising to the top ten.
• Don’t get too attached. Like I said above, after you leave you’ll be fine without armies. They don’t mean much. Don’t let them get in the way of your real life. Go make friends. A lot of you have confided in me that you’re here because you don’t have many real friends. Fix that! There’s no excuse to live a lonely life. And there’s no excuse to let a stupid video game ruin your social experience. GO HAVE FUN.
• Be smart, be safe. A ton of you guys are young and obsessed with things that are “cool” like drugs and sex and appearances. Don’t worry about that stuff. Just be the person you want. Don’t do anything illegal, and be careful in anything you do. I know none of you are serious about the jokes you make, but I feel I should let you all know that you can still have fun without being crazy.

There’s so much more I could say to you guys. And I’m always there to help if you need me, regardless if I’m gone. I’m going to give you guys my personal email in case you ever just need a friend to talk with. Please do not abuse this. Do not email me chain letters or pictures of cats. Do not email me updates on GD. Do not email me asking that I come back. Only email me when you need to. Anytime of the day, anytime of the year, whenever you just need help or advice or someone to talk with. My personal email is ringling15@yahoo.com so don’t hesitate to use it.

And with that, Defenders, I wish you a last farewell. May the Pear always be with you, and may you never forget to keep on going global.

Joey

aka Redd Kool

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Well, GD, we know you’ve been battling hard out there, and I’m sure you’ve done more than just broken in your helmets. Well, lucky for you, those sweat-stained, cracked, faded old Globe Helmets can be tossed out at last! That’s right, we just got a brand new shipment of helmets from our factories in Flurry, available for purchase now!

These helmets aren’t just any helmets, they’re Blizzard Model S Terra Helms. Top of the line, state of the art globe helmets, sure to protect you from even the iciest of snowballs or funniest of joke bombs. These babies are the real deal, the highest quality protection for the highest quality soldiers in Club Penguin.

First helmet’s free! Every additional helmet is 7 pear (7ρ). So just drop in and place your orders!

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Last night, I gazed upon the stars and witnessed a sign.

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So I just so happened to be around the CP Army community again for the first time in a while and a little birdie told me the Global Defenders are back. Naturally, I was pretty excited to hear the news.

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ASSEMBLY THEN

4:30 PST 7:30 EST

XAT.COM/GDCONGRESS

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UPDATE: 2-26 TUXEDO HAS BEEN TAKEN.

The Water Ninjas have declared a friendly war on us. Not sure what that means, other than (1.) nobody kills the other army, (2.) we won’t be buddies or assholes to them, and (3.) we will still defend and invade the shit out of this war. Times are here. Alberto says “May the Best Army Win,” and fear not GD, we will.

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I’ve noticed that though during elections we had the ball rolling, it’s slowing down. So here’s my plan for the next few weeks. This is stuff that just needs to be done.

1. Size: We need to get bigger. I’d like to challenge GD to get 10 at an event by March 16 (almost two weeks!). We can do it GD, I know we can! If we ever want to be in the Top 5, now is our chance to get active and get up there.
2. War: This army needs a war that we can win but can be challenging. UMA was almost good, but it nearly got out of hand, so we need a new one. Face it guys, we can’t do PB’s forever, and you guys don’t take them serious enough. This stuff just works out!
3. Lords: Lords were meant for one purpose – to promote the army’s size by smaller armies within it. Pungy is OK because he’s Pres., but the other three including myself need to get our lordship running.
4. Treasury: A treasurer needs to be appointed. We voted on it, now the President needs to appoint one. They’ll get editor so they can keep track of terra on the Bank page (and supervised closely…). Anyone interested should let Pungy know! We need to make sure Clyde does his job, even though he is? ^-^
5. Academy: The army needs to decide if we want Owner or Mod training offered or even mandatory (personally I think only Owner Training, and very little). Right now it’s just an inactive site. I’ll bring it up at the Assembly, and if yes, a Drill Sergeant will need to be appointed.

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